you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
