you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We are two peas in an std pod
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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