Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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