Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
