don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
