i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
