i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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