I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
