Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize