She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
