He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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