You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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