Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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