just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
