You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize