I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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