we're chasing vodka with high fives
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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