dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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