no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
