it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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