Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
