Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
