have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
