HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
