Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
