I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
