Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He passed out mid-signature
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
