you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
