I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
