Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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