i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
