I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
