and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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