girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
