Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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