I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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