Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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