Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
