party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
