I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
