Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
