You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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