i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
