i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is Oprah even human
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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