If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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