Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hippo gnu deer
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
as a side note pls kill me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
