How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
