i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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