I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
