I cockslap morals
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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