I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
