Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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