don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
