Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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