Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
