ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
