We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
