i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize