Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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