Whod you bang
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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