she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
