Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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