When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
