I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
