Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
