Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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