but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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