meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
