Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
