after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Pants are for mortals
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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